Thursday, November 19, 2009


Reminds me of the time I ditched a car because I couldn't see the road for all the smoke. Thought there might be a forest fire somewhere, except the smoke was all between me and the windshield.
It would have been sad it it weren't so funny.
I was so stoned I was only going about 8 miles an hour and still lost control. It was like the steering wheel had turned to rubber.
I had a choice between a creek and a light pole.
I hit the light pole. It turned out to be one that the traffic signal light is strung up on. The pole toppled onto my car, and the traffic signal dropped to the middle of the intersection.
It was like "WOW, MAN, WHAT A TRIP!" and I got out of my car, leaned on the hood to keep from rolling on the ground laughing, and just cracked up.

Then I realized there were a lot of electrical wires on my car, and that sobered me up considerably. Made me stop leaning on my car too.
Got rid of my stash and waited for the cops to arrive.
I even drove the car away after they got the pole and live-wires off of it.
Like walkin' between the raindrops.

Whats really noteworthy though is inflation.
In 1975 the cost for a light pole, traffic signal and all the amenities was like $2000 including Labor.
What do you figure this would cost today?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I hadn't been for a few months but I went to my old Sunday School class the other day. I told them I now had 480 days clean and sober.
One shouted 'Hallelujah!" and another "Praise the Lord!" and that made me feel good.
But another lady there looked at me very kindly and said "Jesus already took care of all that at the cross for you."
I don't know what thats supposed to mean to me.
This is why I don't go very often.

Friday, November 13, 2009


A true story inspired by Kissygirl's comment over at UF Mikes...

Dear Kissygirl:
I was at the donut stand a few days ago and there was a really pretty girl there behind me. I said "Good morning!" and gave her my best morning smile. She looked me up and down and gave me a great smile back and she laughed at all my jokes and just kept smiling and "checking me out". She even touched me lightly on my left arm TWICE as she laughed and fluttered her eyelashes.
We carried on for a few minutes like that!
So when I got to work I went into the bathroom and washed my hands, I looked in the mirror and was very surprised to find that my shirt was on inside out, and my left arm had a sock there where my bicep was s'posed to be.

So I have to wonder, Kissygirl:
Did she notice?
Did it matter if she did?
is there enough charm in the world to overcome being a bonehaed?
Or would I have been "knocked out of the park, however gently"?
Would this ploy count as "having game"?
I'm thinking I might put it to the test.
What the hell.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


Dad had an old Brownie Camera, the kind that the top unfolds and the image is reflected up as you look down through a thick piece of glass.
One day at the store, Mom asked if I might want to take pictures with the camera and bought some film. I was 5 years old. She put the film in for me and set me on my way, out the door and into the field next door. I asked her what I should take pictures of and she told me “flowers”.
When I came back, I handed her the camera and a bouquet of flowers I had collected.
“Stevie, what are the flowers for?” she asked.
“Just in case the pictures don’t come out Mom”
She just laughed and kissed my head.

In the second grade we were allowed to walk home from school for lunch. Its hard to believe they let us do that. I always walked with Donna Hartlieb. We would part at the corner and meet again to return to school. Every day my mother gave me a Baby Snickers Bar for the walk back. I would split it with Donna on the corner. One day I asked Mom if I might have two candy bars.
She inquired as to why I would need two. I told her about Donna. I'll never forget the look on Mom's face.
"Why, yes, you certainly may!".
She was beaming! (to be continued)

It was 5:00 A.M. when Dad got to the Southlake Police Department to pick me up. Other parents had been called as well. We were all 15 years old, and Born to be Wild. There were no charges, just a case of returning minors that were out too late, driving family cars without the benefit of Drivers licenses, to their proper guardians.
After arriving home, Dad and I "went over a few things" and then we went to the parents of the several young ladies that had been a part of this episode in order for me to apologize.
When we returned from this thorny but very proper errand, Mom was waiting with a present for me. It was wrapped in paper with a bow and everything.
I unwrapped it wondering what it could be.
It was a watch.
As I slid it over my wrist Mom said to me in the most forgiving voice I have ever heard:
"I want you to always know what time it is".

Friday, November 06, 2009


One of my NA Facebook pals asked me what I thought was the "measure of a man"....

I'm not too good at straight answers.

I'm still in a Scarecrow mode, so I'll answer with an anecdote from "The Wizard of Oz" that puzzles me from time to time...
"When it came time to give the Tin Man his heart, the wizard says:"The size of a heart is not measured by how much it loves, but by how much it is loved by others""
On a lighter note, I have attached a picture of Roy Rogers... without Roy.


By the way its the feathers that weigh more.

Monday, November 02, 2009



Heres me and the Catwoman (Julie Newmar) cuttin' up in a cornfeild back when I was just a little bale of hay.


"We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity "

"Belief in a Power greater than ourselves does not come easily to all of us. However, we have found an open mind indispensable when we approach this step. If we look around us, we find many reasons to believe. Our belief may simply be that we can recover from a life of active addiction. The freedom from the obsession to use may be our first experience of a Power greater than ourselves at work in our lives. Perhaps for the first time in many years, our obsession with drugs no longer controls our every waking moment. Knowing that we don’t have to use today is a powerful belief in and of itself."
From NA Literature "It works: How and Why"

I went to my first NA Meeting a year ago today. The first thing they told me was that this program was simple and would take a long time. I knew that they would try to sell me some kind of higher power and wondered how they would do that. but what they didn't tell me was how much difference just not using, just for today, would make in my life.
And that it would make a huge difference in my life inside a year.

I don't have to believe in Eden, or the God of Abraham, Issac and David, whoever they are supposed to be.
I don't have to believe that dogs licked the blood of Ahab, or that Shiva will destroy the word, or that by abandoning myself I will find enlightenment.
I don't have to believe or disbelieve that "There is no God but God, and Muhammad is his Prophet" or in the Six Articles of faith.
I don't have to believe in Life everlasting, the Second Coming, or Gabriels Horn

No, for guys like me that last sentence from the text really keeps my world asks little and guarantees nothing.
"Knowing that we don’t have to use today is a powerful belief in and of itself."